The “not so much,”

 I know it was over a year ago but, if you can remember my last emails, I wrote about being my mom’s caretaker.  Something I am incredibly glad I chose to do.  I will cherish that time forever.  As of February 18th of this year, Mary Lou is now an angel guiding me from beyond.  She glided out of this realm peacefully w/ my sister and I at her bedside.  I didn’t post anything to social media because I didn’t want to handle “thoughts and prayers.” I know ...

 

...everyone means well by that phrase.  I know they truly care.  But that’s not how I hear it. 

Maybe I'm just cynical, but it feels as though social media has reduced sympathy and empathy to emojis and phrases.  Or, perhaps, I'm just old.  I remember when Twitter was new (way back before Crazy Pants took over), being horrified the first time I heard someone "Tweeting" something after someone's passing. It sounded like such a trivial thing to do to celebrate a life.  “Geez, why don’t ya just send a post card ‘Wish You Were Still Here’ on it!”  Honestly, I still think it’s weird to whatever-they-call- “tweet” now when people die.

To me, "Thoughts and Prayers" feels like a “God Bless You” after a sneeze.  It’s just what you say.  You may or may not really care if that sneezer is blessed by God.  And which God?  Yours or the sneezers?  What if they worship some little-known God who only gives out so many blessings and you just wasted one on a sneeze?! 

Everyone handles things differently, right?  And at different paces and depths.  I know the “thoughts and prayers” people really do care.  Maybe some of you had lovely thoughts for me upon reading this and I’m grateful.  But, for me, certain situations bring about a reaction in me –  a mental state - best described by a line from one of my mom’s favorite TCM movies, “I can’t think about that right now, I’ll go crazy if I do.  I’ll think about that tomorrow. After all tomorrow is another day.”   I am fine.  I do feel my mom's presence and guidance and I’m groovy, really.  Of course, I'm sad sometimes - I mean, my God, I'm an orphan now.  And so young! 

Thanks for your concern.  Thanks for checking in.